........No evil shall I fear. No I haven't been born again. I was just thinking deeply. What caused this sudden rush of insight? Well, I saw a tshirt with this quote on it once, with an extra bit tacked on which didn't appear in the Bible, as far as I know. It said "because I'm the biggest, meanest son of a bitch in the valley", or words to that effect.
No disrespect intended. I was just musing over the paperwork involved in shipping my bike to the US. Even though I'm using a freight specialist to do all this bureaucratic BS for me, he keeps sending me forms to fill out. And I keep filling them out. I was just imagining the US President flying into Ireland or Russia or wherever. "Well, Mr O'Bama, even if you do have an Irish name, you can't bring that 8 ton armour plated limo into this country, and just drive around like you own it. You haven't filled out your B-10956HV. That thing has to comply with our rules, all nine million of them, or you'll be needing a separate exemption for each one. Take this pallet load of paper away and bring it back all filled in before December, or else you'll have to apply all over again. Then do the same for that big blue 747 I can see out there. No problem with the artillery, but put out that cigar, its dangerous." Yeah right, like that ever happens! When you are the biggest, meanest SOB in the valley, you are accorded certain entitlements and exemptions. Nice work if you can get it. And I guess there is no limit to the amount of ass kissing and toadying that goes with it. And that, friends, is my point. Nobody is kissing mine. Well, can you blame them? But I'm real busy kissing someone else's.
Look, nobody is making me ship my own bike to the US, there are less complicated alternatives, and I'm not asking for a medal for doing it. But when you are just one of the common herd (that would be me), you just have to suck it up. There is a bureaucratic "one size fits all" policy in many instances. In the US, in Australia, and lots of other places. The rules just aren't made for the poor schmuck who simply wants to ride his bike around for a while, mind his own business and watch the world go by. No sir, he is lumped in with the likes of Mercedes Benz, Ikea, Aldi etc, the corporate giants, the wheeler dealers, the crooks like VolksWagon trying to scam the system, the Mexicans trying to sneak in driving decrepit old bombs that spew lead and black smoke and don't carry insurance. And said schmuck has to jump through all of the same hoops. Ok, you know what I'm on about by now.
I have a current model motorcycle, purchased in Australia, not Kazakhstan or Botswana, which I intend to take back to Australia when I'm done. As long as my petrol tank isn't full of cocaine, that should be the end of it. Stamp my passport, Have a nice day. But no, not even close. I have to go through virtually what BMW had to go through to sell the bike in Australia or the US in the first place. I have to make sure it complies with a whole pile of US rules, and if it doesn't (and it doesn't) I have to seek an exemption for this, another for that, and so on. This involves form filling, lots of form filling. And the forms would be a lot shorter if they didn't all contain a printed explanation of their compliance with the Paperwork Reduction Act. I'm not kidding, its really on there! Danger, bureaucrats at work.
But the most highly sought-after piece of information is my date of birth. It's critical for some reason. Maybe someone just wants to send me a birthday card? I've given the powers that be this information a hundred times already. I wonder what happens if you're a reincarnated Buddhist or a Hindu?? Does that send the system into meltdown? And get this, I had to apply to the Australian Government for a permit to import my own bike back into Australia. Apparently the South Australian numberplate and Registration certificate isn't good enough. I had to fork over $50 for a permit that has all the same stuff on it that my Rego does! Most of the rest of the world either doesn't care, or has a Carnet system for dealing with such matters and it works well enough to have gotten me and Chris P from Singapore to England with no drama. OK there was some drama, but it involved goats, alright, one particular goat, and a few terrorists. But no drama with moving the bikes from one country to another. By the way, Mr O'Bama, what's your date of birth?
Well there you go, nothing like a good rant to get me in shape for my next adventure, and to limber up vis-a-vis continuing to blog my observations to all and sundry (that would be you). I have to drop the bike off at a freight depot in Sydney on May 4. Then on June 20 I fly out to Dubai for a short stopover to sort "them A-rabs" out (yeah, right) then direct to Seattle, where the bike should be waiting for me, Unless it got sent to Tajikistan because I got my date of birth wrong. Maybe I should have been born again!! I'll let you know how it pans out. Six weeks without my bike. I miss it already.
No disrespect intended. I was just musing over the paperwork involved in shipping my bike to the US. Even though I'm using a freight specialist to do all this bureaucratic BS for me, he keeps sending me forms to fill out. And I keep filling them out. I was just imagining the US President flying into Ireland or Russia or wherever. "Well, Mr O'Bama, even if you do have an Irish name, you can't bring that 8 ton armour plated limo into this country, and just drive around like you own it. You haven't filled out your B-10956HV. That thing has to comply with our rules, all nine million of them, or you'll be needing a separate exemption for each one. Take this pallet load of paper away and bring it back all filled in before December, or else you'll have to apply all over again. Then do the same for that big blue 747 I can see out there. No problem with the artillery, but put out that cigar, its dangerous." Yeah right, like that ever happens! When you are the biggest, meanest SOB in the valley, you are accorded certain entitlements and exemptions. Nice work if you can get it. And I guess there is no limit to the amount of ass kissing and toadying that goes with it. And that, friends, is my point. Nobody is kissing mine. Well, can you blame them? But I'm real busy kissing someone else's.
Look, nobody is making me ship my own bike to the US, there are less complicated alternatives, and I'm not asking for a medal for doing it. But when you are just one of the common herd (that would be me), you just have to suck it up. There is a bureaucratic "one size fits all" policy in many instances. In the US, in Australia, and lots of other places. The rules just aren't made for the poor schmuck who simply wants to ride his bike around for a while, mind his own business and watch the world go by. No sir, he is lumped in with the likes of Mercedes Benz, Ikea, Aldi etc, the corporate giants, the wheeler dealers, the crooks like VolksWagon trying to scam the system, the Mexicans trying to sneak in driving decrepit old bombs that spew lead and black smoke and don't carry insurance. And said schmuck has to jump through all of the same hoops. Ok, you know what I'm on about by now.
I have a current model motorcycle, purchased in Australia, not Kazakhstan or Botswana, which I intend to take back to Australia when I'm done. As long as my petrol tank isn't full of cocaine, that should be the end of it. Stamp my passport, Have a nice day. But no, not even close. I have to go through virtually what BMW had to go through to sell the bike in Australia or the US in the first place. I have to make sure it complies with a whole pile of US rules, and if it doesn't (and it doesn't) I have to seek an exemption for this, another for that, and so on. This involves form filling, lots of form filling. And the forms would be a lot shorter if they didn't all contain a printed explanation of their compliance with the Paperwork Reduction Act. I'm not kidding, its really on there! Danger, bureaucrats at work.
But the most highly sought-after piece of information is my date of birth. It's critical for some reason. Maybe someone just wants to send me a birthday card? I've given the powers that be this information a hundred times already. I wonder what happens if you're a reincarnated Buddhist or a Hindu?? Does that send the system into meltdown? And get this, I had to apply to the Australian Government for a permit to import my own bike back into Australia. Apparently the South Australian numberplate and Registration certificate isn't good enough. I had to fork over $50 for a permit that has all the same stuff on it that my Rego does! Most of the rest of the world either doesn't care, or has a Carnet system for dealing with such matters and it works well enough to have gotten me and Chris P from Singapore to England with no drama. OK there was some drama, but it involved goats, alright, one particular goat, and a few terrorists. But no drama with moving the bikes from one country to another. By the way, Mr O'Bama, what's your date of birth?
Well there you go, nothing like a good rant to get me in shape for my next adventure, and to limber up vis-a-vis continuing to blog my observations to all and sundry (that would be you). I have to drop the bike off at a freight depot in Sydney on May 4. Then on June 20 I fly out to Dubai for a short stopover to sort "them A-rabs" out (yeah, right) then direct to Seattle, where the bike should be waiting for me, Unless it got sent to Tajikistan because I got my date of birth wrong. Maybe I should have been born again!! I'll let you know how it pans out. Six weeks without my bike. I miss it already.
