Greetings Readers, Well, there it is, right on cue. An aviation disaster. Just as I'm about to fly somewhere. I have made mention of this phenomenon before, and its freakin amazing how it keeps on happening. I'm not kidding, go back and see, right here in this blog! This time it looks like a biggie. Boeing's 737 Max 8 can fly all by itself, it doesn't need pilots getting in the way. Its so state of the art that Boeing didn't even bother to tell anybody, least of all those pesky pilots, that now Skynet decides when the plane is about to stall, and it corrects automatically. That is to say, it corrects with an irreversible trajectory calculated to cause maximum carnage. I half expect the FAA to break down my door and arrest me as a prime suspect, if not an accessory after the fact. This series of regular coincidences could not possibly have escaped their attention. But as I have said before, at least it gets everybody focussed. We are scheduled to fly one leg of our travels on a 737-800, which Dr. Google tells me is a predecessor to the Max 8, not the actual Max 8. I was temporarily relieved at this discovery, until I remembered we were flying with Malaysian, who keep finding novel new ways to lose aircraft. But since then, in news just in, Boeing finally bowed to the pressure (but mostly a directive from Trump) and grounded the lot. Airlines and others now intending to sue Boeing for damages, please form an orderly queue.
So anyway, hot on the heels of my November adventures in Myanmar, where I really did fly with some dodgy airlines, I am now in the getting ready phase for the trip to Yunnan and Tibet, commencing in mid April. Way too early to pack yet, but preparations continue apace. Swiss Army Knife, check. Cheese substitute packs of Le Snaks, check. Ground Coffee, check. Vegemite, check. Better get a big jar this time, and the stuff in the tube is really awful, or is it just me? Oh, and we need a Chinese Visa, better get that happening.
Let me warm to the topic by way of example. I was going to the local gym the other day, and my electronic pass wouldn't work on the entry gate. As I pay by auto deduct on my credit card, this struck me as unusual. The 20-something chick on the front desk pressed a few buttons and says my accreditation has run out. My what?? Listen and be amazed. I get a discount because I have a State Government issued Seniors Card. Sad but true. Everybody who turns 60 gets one, and as it gives me free public transport off peak, its handy. We need to see your card to make sure its still valid, she says. But its open ended, I reply. They don't give you another one unless you lose the first one, and it doesn't expire, and anyway, you saw it when I joined, otherwise I wouldn't be "accredited" in the first place, would I? We have to renew your accreditation, she says robotically. Listen lady, I walk here and I don't bring anything with me to gym except a towel and water bottle. Well, next time then, she says. We have to check it again, its part of the process, you see? God give me strength, I mutter. Yes, I see. And its totally pointless. Do these people think the Government is going to withdraw my Seniors Card because I'm getting younger?? When did common sense become illegal?
Being an old guy with too much time on his hands, I love to question just about everything, but especially time wasting bureaucracy. Mainly because now I have plenty of time to waste, and it really irks those who haven't. Anyway, perversely, I do kind of enjoy tilting at windmills like Don Quixote, (Google it, kids. Better still, read the book). Back to the story. Who am I to question what it says on the screen? See, the computer says this, right here, "Check for accreditation". As if this in itself was some irrefutable proof. Gen X,Y, Z, or wherever we're up to, seem to have lost the ability to think for themselves. They just look at a screen and do whatever it says. Everywhere I look, people are staring hypnotically at the screen of their"device", awaiting instructions. Yeah well, not me. To me, device still means the clamp on the end of the workbench. And I'll go down swinging.
But this particular example of time being destroyed was merely practice for the Chinese Visa process. Thus far in my travels, the hardest Visa I've ever had to get was the one for Iran (and you can read about that earlier in this very journal), and a close second was the one for the good ol USA, if you want to stay there longer than 90 days. No complaints about either of those, I respect every country's right to decide who they let in, but by now I really am sick of jumping through bureaucratic hoops like a trained seal. And it turns out that China is not one of the easiest countries to get a visa for (bad grammar, I know). North Korea, Russia, Iran and Turkmenistan are the hardest apparently, while the top ten is rounded out by a few African basket case countries where tourists don't go anyway. So my device told me. So it must be right. Right?
The Chinese Visa Application Service (CVAS) is now an outsourced function, run by private contract. Obviously, even the Embassies are getting sick of the drudgery of processing visa applications, and I don't blame them. The Adelaide CVAS office has only recently opened, and I suspect the staff are a bit new to it all. And I'm being very kind to them when I say that. I won't bore you to death with the administrivia, but don't go in there if you're in a hurry. Find another way. And good luck. Anything a little out of the ordinary throws bureaucrats into a panic as they are jolted out of their catatonic comfort zone and realise that the computer screen is no help at all!
First question. Where are your return airline tickets? Well, we are not flying to China, we are flying to Thailand. How are you getting to China? By road. From Thailand? I remind her that Thailand doesn't have a border with China. No, from Laos. But you are flying to Thailand. Yes, and then we are going to Laos. Its all in the application, I typed an appendix explaining the whole thing. Shuffle of papers. Where? Here, here and here. Maybe if you hadn't shuffled the paperwork......Checks computer screen hopefully, panic begins to rise, then picks up phone and babbles for about two minutes to some unseen power. And your invitation letter is filled in by hand, not typed! Hello, she's back. I knew right then it was going to be a long day.
The tour company have a guy in China, a local fixer, who issued a letter of invitation, and a full itinerary for our China leg, all written in Chinese, for the sole purpose of facilitating the Visa application process. All we had to do was fill in our own details on the blank bit. Well, it wasn't working. Then I was told to provide details of accommodation in Thailand. Excuse me? With all due respect, I said, surely this is irrelevant? Application not acceptable, come back with details we ask. That went well, I mused, as I caught the train back home after having wasted a morning. Fortunately the train trip was free, I have a Seniors Card, remember.
So a week and a half of emails later, back I go with as much of the stuff as I could get, with two fresh applications, and all the answers on the tip of my tongue. I was ready to joust this time. Different lady on the front desk, good sign. Then I got "this photo same as passport" she says looking at my application. Seeing that they were both identical photos of me, I was somewhat perplexed at this statement of the obvious. Well, who's photo were you expecting, lady? Conan the Barbarian? I had stuck a leftover photo from my last passport application on the Visa application. They wanted a photo less than six months old. But my passport is still valid for another four years, with the same photo in it. Are you saying its not me?? Saying need new photo, so can stick on Visa form. Dammit, they had me on the ropes again! But I merely smiled and said "fine", while mentally counting to five hundred, and seriously considering going postal.
Then as it turned out, I really did go postal. I had to find the nearest post office for a new photo shoot. I then returned with 6 new photos, one of which she cut out diligently and glued onto the application. A period of intense scrutiny of the forms followed, then she finally said to take it to window 2. This only triggered a fresh round of questions. Eventually, much later, they accepted the applications and I was told to come back in 10 working days time and collect the passports, hopefully with visas attached. Thorough? Painful more like, and you just have to take it. Or cancel your travel plans. These are your choices. Speaking of trained seals, anyone got any fish? Ooh look, a hoop!
I have been fascinated by the name Tibet since I was in short pants, and just starting to learn about geography. It was one of the most isolated places on the planet, much like Nepal and Bhutan, the other mysterious Himalayan kingdoms. Home to abominable snowmen, (actually they're ok when you get to know them), yaks, yak butter tea, prayer wheels, singing bowls, chanting monks and of course, Everest. I have fortunately been able to visit Nepal, and parts of it were truly fascinating. I can now understand how Khatmandu blew the minds of the first westerners to ever get there. And not just because dope plants really do grow wild on the side of the road, and because Bob Seeger had a song called Going to Khatmandu. When I first saw a photo of the Potala Palace, which forms the totally awesome backdrop to Tibet's capital city of Lhasa, it messed with my head. It was the most exotic thing I think I had ever seen up to that point. I had heard of the Dalhi Lama, but must admit to not really understanding anything about Tibetan Buddhism until recently. I certainly did not appreciate the politics involved until much later in life. I had the opportunity of attending a conference in Sydney several years ago, at which H.H.The Dalhi Lama was a keynote speaker. To say I was impressed would be an understatement. The man has lived in exile in Dharamsala, India since 1959. At least, that's his postal address, for he spends a great deal of his time travelling the world, meeting world leaders, and generally inspiring millions. Including me. If anybody has a right to be pissed off, outraged and to go postal, it's him. But that is totally not what the man is about, and that is entirely the point. (Jihadists, take note). However, he is unlikely to be going home anytime soon. While our trip will include riding up onto the vast Tibetan Plateau, we will not be going as far west as Lhasa, unfortunately. It just won't be possible within the time frame we have, and we are already covering some 5,500 km.
China has poured squillions into consolidating its presence in the region, and has recently completed a high speed rail link to Lhasa, a project which in itself is an engineering marvel, and one which conquered numerous technical challenges, so credit where it's due. Why bother? Well, I might just leave it there, one never knows who is monitoring stuff on the internet. But watch this space. Meanwhile, the Chinese juggernaut rolls on, developing at a blinding pace, and rapidly becoming a serious player on the world stage. One suspects this is all happening in accordance with some vast strategic plan. I wonder what it is? I suspect certain others are asking the same question. Well, you don't stop till you've got the lot, do you?
So anyway, hot on the heels of my November adventures in Myanmar, where I really did fly with some dodgy airlines, I am now in the getting ready phase for the trip to Yunnan and Tibet, commencing in mid April. Way too early to pack yet, but preparations continue apace. Swiss Army Knife, check. Cheese substitute packs of Le Snaks, check. Ground Coffee, check. Vegemite, check. Better get a big jar this time, and the stuff in the tube is really awful, or is it just me? Oh, and we need a Chinese Visa, better get that happening.
Let me warm to the topic by way of example. I was going to the local gym the other day, and my electronic pass wouldn't work on the entry gate. As I pay by auto deduct on my credit card, this struck me as unusual. The 20-something chick on the front desk pressed a few buttons and says my accreditation has run out. My what?? Listen and be amazed. I get a discount because I have a State Government issued Seniors Card. Sad but true. Everybody who turns 60 gets one, and as it gives me free public transport off peak, its handy. We need to see your card to make sure its still valid, she says. But its open ended, I reply. They don't give you another one unless you lose the first one, and it doesn't expire, and anyway, you saw it when I joined, otherwise I wouldn't be "accredited" in the first place, would I? We have to renew your accreditation, she says robotically. Listen lady, I walk here and I don't bring anything with me to gym except a towel and water bottle. Well, next time then, she says. We have to check it again, its part of the process, you see? God give me strength, I mutter. Yes, I see. And its totally pointless. Do these people think the Government is going to withdraw my Seniors Card because I'm getting younger?? When did common sense become illegal?
Being an old guy with too much time on his hands, I love to question just about everything, but especially time wasting bureaucracy. Mainly because now I have plenty of time to waste, and it really irks those who haven't. Anyway, perversely, I do kind of enjoy tilting at windmills like Don Quixote, (Google it, kids. Better still, read the book). Back to the story. Who am I to question what it says on the screen? See, the computer says this, right here, "Check for accreditation". As if this in itself was some irrefutable proof. Gen X,Y, Z, or wherever we're up to, seem to have lost the ability to think for themselves. They just look at a screen and do whatever it says. Everywhere I look, people are staring hypnotically at the screen of their"device", awaiting instructions. Yeah well, not me. To me, device still means the clamp on the end of the workbench. And I'll go down swinging.
But this particular example of time being destroyed was merely practice for the Chinese Visa process. Thus far in my travels, the hardest Visa I've ever had to get was the one for Iran (and you can read about that earlier in this very journal), and a close second was the one for the good ol USA, if you want to stay there longer than 90 days. No complaints about either of those, I respect every country's right to decide who they let in, but by now I really am sick of jumping through bureaucratic hoops like a trained seal. And it turns out that China is not one of the easiest countries to get a visa for (bad grammar, I know). North Korea, Russia, Iran and Turkmenistan are the hardest apparently, while the top ten is rounded out by a few African basket case countries where tourists don't go anyway. So my device told me. So it must be right. Right?
The Chinese Visa Application Service (CVAS) is now an outsourced function, run by private contract. Obviously, even the Embassies are getting sick of the drudgery of processing visa applications, and I don't blame them. The Adelaide CVAS office has only recently opened, and I suspect the staff are a bit new to it all. And I'm being very kind to them when I say that. I won't bore you to death with the administrivia, but don't go in there if you're in a hurry. Find another way. And good luck. Anything a little out of the ordinary throws bureaucrats into a panic as they are jolted out of their catatonic comfort zone and realise that the computer screen is no help at all!
First question. Where are your return airline tickets? Well, we are not flying to China, we are flying to Thailand. How are you getting to China? By road. From Thailand? I remind her that Thailand doesn't have a border with China. No, from Laos. But you are flying to Thailand. Yes, and then we are going to Laos. Its all in the application, I typed an appendix explaining the whole thing. Shuffle of papers. Where? Here, here and here. Maybe if you hadn't shuffled the paperwork......Checks computer screen hopefully, panic begins to rise, then picks up phone and babbles for about two minutes to some unseen power. And your invitation letter is filled in by hand, not typed! Hello, she's back. I knew right then it was going to be a long day.
The tour company have a guy in China, a local fixer, who issued a letter of invitation, and a full itinerary for our China leg, all written in Chinese, for the sole purpose of facilitating the Visa application process. All we had to do was fill in our own details on the blank bit. Well, it wasn't working. Then I was told to provide details of accommodation in Thailand. Excuse me? With all due respect, I said, surely this is irrelevant? Application not acceptable, come back with details we ask. That went well, I mused, as I caught the train back home after having wasted a morning. Fortunately the train trip was free, I have a Seniors Card, remember.
So a week and a half of emails later, back I go with as much of the stuff as I could get, with two fresh applications, and all the answers on the tip of my tongue. I was ready to joust this time. Different lady on the front desk, good sign. Then I got "this photo same as passport" she says looking at my application. Seeing that they were both identical photos of me, I was somewhat perplexed at this statement of the obvious. Well, who's photo were you expecting, lady? Conan the Barbarian? I had stuck a leftover photo from my last passport application on the Visa application. They wanted a photo less than six months old. But my passport is still valid for another four years, with the same photo in it. Are you saying its not me?? Saying need new photo, so can stick on Visa form. Dammit, they had me on the ropes again! But I merely smiled and said "fine", while mentally counting to five hundred, and seriously considering going postal.
Then as it turned out, I really did go postal. I had to find the nearest post office for a new photo shoot. I then returned with 6 new photos, one of which she cut out diligently and glued onto the application. A period of intense scrutiny of the forms followed, then she finally said to take it to window 2. This only triggered a fresh round of questions. Eventually, much later, they accepted the applications and I was told to come back in 10 working days time and collect the passports, hopefully with visas attached. Thorough? Painful more like, and you just have to take it. Or cancel your travel plans. These are your choices. Speaking of trained seals, anyone got any fish? Ooh look, a hoop!
I have been fascinated by the name Tibet since I was in short pants, and just starting to learn about geography. It was one of the most isolated places on the planet, much like Nepal and Bhutan, the other mysterious Himalayan kingdoms. Home to abominable snowmen, (actually they're ok when you get to know them), yaks, yak butter tea, prayer wheels, singing bowls, chanting monks and of course, Everest. I have fortunately been able to visit Nepal, and parts of it were truly fascinating. I can now understand how Khatmandu blew the minds of the first westerners to ever get there. And not just because dope plants really do grow wild on the side of the road, and because Bob Seeger had a song called Going to Khatmandu. When I first saw a photo of the Potala Palace, which forms the totally awesome backdrop to Tibet's capital city of Lhasa, it messed with my head. It was the most exotic thing I think I had ever seen up to that point. I had heard of the Dalhi Lama, but must admit to not really understanding anything about Tibetan Buddhism until recently. I certainly did not appreciate the politics involved until much later in life. I had the opportunity of attending a conference in Sydney several years ago, at which H.H.The Dalhi Lama was a keynote speaker. To say I was impressed would be an understatement. The man has lived in exile in Dharamsala, India since 1959. At least, that's his postal address, for he spends a great deal of his time travelling the world, meeting world leaders, and generally inspiring millions. Including me. If anybody has a right to be pissed off, outraged and to go postal, it's him. But that is totally not what the man is about, and that is entirely the point. (Jihadists, take note). However, he is unlikely to be going home anytime soon. While our trip will include riding up onto the vast Tibetan Plateau, we will not be going as far west as Lhasa, unfortunately. It just won't be possible within the time frame we have, and we are already covering some 5,500 km.
China has poured squillions into consolidating its presence in the region, and has recently completed a high speed rail link to Lhasa, a project which in itself is an engineering marvel, and one which conquered numerous technical challenges, so credit where it's due. Why bother? Well, I might just leave it there, one never knows who is monitoring stuff on the internet. But watch this space. Meanwhile, the Chinese juggernaut rolls on, developing at a blinding pace, and rapidly becoming a serious player on the world stage. One suspects this is all happening in accordance with some vast strategic plan. I wonder what it is? I suspect certain others are asking the same question. Well, you don't stop till you've got the lot, do you?
No comments:
Post a Comment