TO VEE OR NO TO VEE? THAT IS THE QUESTION

Look, I don't want to lower the tone of this blog any more than necessary, but I just have to get the tissue issue out in the open. I've used toilets all over the place. I've used some where they don't even have a bog roll. If you didn't BYO, then you are going to walk out of there with a wide gait like Tony Abbot. All you can do then is waddle straight home. I've used the good old 3x2x1 army latrine while out on bivouac. Only the army could specify a required size for a hole in the ground to crap into, but I suppose at a pinch, it could double up as a weapon pit in case of sudden attack. In fact, I've since found its better if you don't dig a hole at all, and I'm prepared to discuss this in appropriate detail at a suitable time. I've been to dark places full of redbacks where all you've got to work with is a few torn- up pieces of newspaper stuck on a nail next to the throttling pit. I've had to use those morale sapping starting blocks they still have in some so-called civilised countries. What a god awful predicament they are. I've been to some places and just said "kill me now".

But on this trip, in every single place I've stayed in, without exception, somebody has pre-folded the loose end of the bog roll into a nice, neat tidy V shaped point. Every single day! I mean, talk about class! I won't hear a bad word said against the hospitality industry this country, it's the Switzerland of Asia in this regard. God only knows what the locals do, but such conjecture is inappropriate and unhelpful. And not only that, most of the facilities there is one of those hosepipes hanging on the wall next to the karzi for you to use if you accidentally set fire to something while you're in there. I mean, they anticipate every possible need!

Look at that! Its not the best one I've ever seen, but it is tradesmanlike, and in keeping with a lot of things here.

I just don't know how I'm going to adjust to life back in Australia. I don't know how I will be able to accept anything less from the Budget Motel Chain, country pubs, caravan parks, roadhouses, and yes, I feel I must say this, even friend's houses, than the nice little welcoming V shaped point on the end of the bog roll. And I'm talking about before I go in there. I reserve the right to tear it to shreds, but that's my business, not yours.

Now that we have dispensed with that important issue, we shall say no more about it. Maybe.